Domestic Violence Definition

Domestic violence definitions include financial abuse, where the abuser controls the finances, and either does not allow the victim to have access to money, forcing them to ask for money for anything they need or makes the victim explain and justify every expense. It includes sexual assault, coercion, or physically forcing someone to have sexual contact with either the abuser or someone else. It does not matter if the abuser and victim are in a relationship or married; it is still sexual assault and domestic abuse if consent was not given willingly.

Domestic violence definitions also include psychological and emotional abuse. These are attempts to control someone through manipulation or threats, and intimidation. It could look like withholding affection to punish the victim, belittling the victim and make them feel worthless or unloveable. It could be through making the victim feel crazy or humiliating them in front of others. Some examples of domestic abuse are:

• Making the victim feel stupid and like they are unable to do things or make decisions for themselves
• Belittling the victim and making them feel they are not worthy of love, affection, success
• Embarrassing the victim in front of people
• Blaming the victim for the abusers feelings or actions (eg. If they are depressed, making it the victim’s fault or responsibility that they feel that way)
• Requiring the victim to check in regularly or share their location
• Teaching the victim a lesson through physical abuse, withholding affection or money, abandoning the victim somewhere, or preventing them from leaving
• Destroying personal belongings of the victim
• Excusing their behavior by blaming drugs, alcohol, grief, anger, etc.
• Treating the victim roughly by showing them, hitting them, pushing them, grabbing them, or physically hurting them
• Throwing items in order to intimidate the victim
• Making the victim feel trapped in the relationship
• Pressuring the victim into sexual contact or physically forcing them to engage in sexual contact
• Controlling the victim’s interaction with the outside world or friends and family
• Threatening loved ones like children or pets in order to control the victim

If you experience any types of domestic violence or domestic abuse, know that it is not your fault. Unfortunately, many people in the United States experience domestic abuse, and you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you in whatever way you need. There are helplines when you need someone to talk to and counsellors who can provide you with the information you need to change your situation when you are ready. They can help you to find resources to help you escape your domestic abuse situation, including legal advice, financial aid, and shelters.

Is Domestic Abuse Temporary or a One-Off Occasion?

Unfortunately, domestic abuse is rarely temporary or a single occurrence. Domestic abuse tends to be a pattern of behavior that steadily gets worse over time. This is why it can be hard for many domestic abuse victims to recognize that they are being abused. It may start off as an occasional rude name or an overreaction to something you do or say. Because the increase happens slowly but steadily, you become acclimatized to the behavior rather than it changing suddenly and alerting you that something is wrong. Domestic abuse can result in serious injury or death, so it is something that should be taken seriously.

Making the first call to talk to someone, even just a helpline, is a huge first step. It is a success and signifies you have recognized that you are in an abusive situation and that you deserve better. There are resources available to people who do not speak English as their first language, and there are resources available to people who feel trapped in abusive households or marriages due to immigration or visa statuses. Leaving an abusive marriage does not mean that your visa will be revoked; there are legal resources available to help you.

Domestic Violence Definition: Power and Control

As we mentioned earlier in this article, the intention and purpose behind all forms of domestic abuse is power and control. The abuser wants to control their victims and wants them to comply with all of their wants and needs.

This is why domestic violence is usually a pattern of abuse rather than an isolated type of domestic abuse. There may be emotional and verbal abuse or emotional abuse and financial abuse. An abuser will not use just one type of domestic abuse. Here are the different types of abuse included in the domestic violence definition and how they may look.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is bullying and verbal abuse designed to undermine the victim’s self-worth and destroying their relationships with other people. Emotional abuse looks like:

• • Name calling
  • Insults
  • Frequent criticism of the victim or things the victim does
  • Lack of trust
  • Jealousy
  • Possessiveness
  • Isolating the victim from friends and family
  • Stalking or tracking the victim
  • Controlling finances
  • Humiliating and embarrassing the victim
  • Threatening to hurt the victim or their family, children, or pets
  • Withholding affection in order to punish the victim
  • Expects or forces the victim to ask permission before doing things
  • Asks or forces the victim to quit their job, so they are financially dependent on the abuser and isolated from their family
  • Name calling

Psychological Abuse

Psychological abuse is intimidating and manipulating the victim or otherwise playing mind games to keep the victim on the back foot or questioning their view of reality. It includes:

• • Forcing the victim to become isolated from friends and family
  • Intimidating the victim
  • Blaming the victim for the abuse
  • Gaslighting or causing the victim to question reality
  • Playing mind games
  • Keeping the victim tired or uncomfortable, so they are less emotionally stable
  • Destroying the victim’s property